Sebenarnya tak tahu macam mana nak start since dah lama sangat sangat tak blogging. Last post was on september *garu kepala*
Sebenarnyakan bila baca balik, malu pula letak post macam yang last post tu. Hahah
Because I was imagining my classmates baca my blog *insert emoticon menangis* Sebenarnya I never told anybody at maktab that I have a blog. It was not until I dont how some of them knew my blog. Lepas tu beberapa hari lepas ada seorang hamba Allah insert my blog url dalam group whatsapp kelas. I was so overwhelmed. Hanya mampu mengharapkan takda siapa yang nak layan url blog yang perasan datin tu. Dah la post september tu macam (insert not-so-inappropriate word).
Okayy, lupakan.
Tadi baru je baca balik semua post dari awal-awal and what I realized banyak sangat post masa zaman kanak-kanak ribena a.k.a. zaman jahiliyyah dulu yang aku dah delete. And I'm happy with it. And actually tadi nak sign in blog tapi dia tulis wrong username/password. Rasa macam nak menangis tadi. Sekali tetiba nak try login balik, terus ke dashoard. Menyampahnya rasa sebab dah buang masa buat recovery pebenda tah.
Masa tu dah terfikir nak buat blog baru. Since aku pun sebenarnya taknak sesiapa ambil tahu siapa aku dan apa aku buat pada masa zaman kanak-kanak ribena dulu. Because I am really not proud with that.
So pesanan kepada sesiapa sahaja yang membaca, next time when you're about to post something, check first before you publish to public. Don't be like me now. Actually I feel ashame to say this but I don't want any of you do the same thing as what I did.
Okayy, to make it clear. I take facebook as an example since most of people still using it and that social network paling banyak gambar zaman kanak-kanak ribena dulu. I guess you get the point there. As you know how I am not proud at all with zaman kannak-kanak ribena tu, so I've been trying to delete all the pictures. Unfortunately, most of the pictures was in my friends' album. I dont know how to say this thing to them. So I sent a facebook report asked them to remove the pictures. But it seems to be failed. Not a respond I received from them. That made me sad. Thats why I'm not updated with facebook. Once a while I login to see what notifications I get and maybe some of my friends and family members posts. And thats it. And every time I'm in facebook, I'll look up to the photos I was tagged in. As I saw there are still the photos of mine that I don't like it to be there, I'll be disappointed and it really really made me upset.
Maybe you might ask yourself why should I be upset with it. Let me remind you of something that I was told by a form 4 BADAR during our Fardhu Ain class about 'dosa sepanjang masa'.
It was like a wake up call from The Lord. Actually, I've deleting those things since early of the year. And by the time the BADAR said it, I was in the situation of fed up and just let it there. Why am I telling you this ? As I said, I don't want you guys to feel the hardness and the stressness of dosa sepanjang masa tu.
I did ask someone what if we've tried to take the photos down, but it still there. He said it was okay because you have tried. but please never stop trying. And keep praying. That what he said.
Nak tahu why am I take this things seriously ? Because I'm imagining what will happen to me if I died.
Sepatutnya pahala amalan kita harapkan untuk terus disalurkan dalam kubur nanti, tapi disebabkan gambar yang satu tapi ditatapi oleh berjuta dan mungkin berbillion orang mausia, tak pasal-pasal dosa pula dapat. Apa yang aku nak tunjuk dekat Tuhan aku nanti di padang mahsyar ?
Ye, bunyinya sangat menggerunkan sebenarnya. Kalau belajar bebetul bab ni, kau akan rasa betapa tak layaknya sebenarnya kita untuk nak dapatkan syurga. Sebab masa dekat mahsyar nanti, semua akan buat pelbagai cara untuk nak dapat pahala lebih supaya tak dihumban ke neraka. Masa tu lah akan ada orang yang mungkin kita tak kenal datang menuntut hak dia yang kita tak tunaikan. Ada abang senior kata orang tu mungkin ahli keluarga, jiran (kena ingat jiran ialah orang yang tinggal berdekatan sehingga 40 buah rumah ke kiri, kanan, depan, belakang, atas dan bawah dari rumah kita), kawan dan orang sekeliling. Sebenarnya aku pun tak berapa faham sangat pasal orang-orang ni, tapi boleh nampak la sikit la. Hak tu merangkumi semua. Mungkin dia miskin, kita ada duit lebih, tapi kita tak tolong dia.
Sangat menakutkan sebenarnya bila cerita bab akhirat ni. Tapi kenapa aku ni masih lagi leka dengan dunia. Haihhh. Sedih sebenarnya. Jadi, sama-samalah muhasabah diri. Kadang aku rasa beruntung sebab aku ada seorang kawan yang suka ingatkan aku supaya tak tinggal solat, baca Quran setiap hari semua semua tu. Tapi sayang, dia lelaki. Hehh. Masa awal-awal cuti tu lagilah. Setiap pagi dia text aku, kejut suruh solat tahajjud la kononnya tapi aku ni tidur mati. Memang tak la bangun sebab text tu. Sejak dua menjak ni, Alhamdulillah, dah jarang text, busy maybe. Hahah. Tapi tak tahu la lepas ni cemana. Mungkin ada yang akan kata untunglaaahhhhh ada lelaki care. But heyy, to me it is not an untunglahhh at all. Sebab aku ambil jalan selamat. To me, between lelaki dan perempuan tak pernah ada istilah kawan baik/kawan rapat dan sebangsa dengannya. Sebab either one, akan ada yang fall in love. Ada orang tak setuju dengan ayat tu. Tapi kisah pulak I ? Hahah. Nak lawan hujah, meh datang sini. Kita lawan cara debat profesional..
Okay, it's late already.
Selamat malam dunia *insert emoticon lambai tangan*
Last for tonight, I'm sorry if this post disturbs your mood. I accidentally tertype pasal tu. Sebebarnya nak tanya apa khabar je. Nak say hye to my classmates yang ingkar perintah aku. Hahah. I told them don't try to visit my blog. Tapi tah la. Manusia. Ketegaq.
Okayy bye.
Assalaamualaikum :)
Peace No War. Spread the love ;)